The Mental Side of Weight Loss...

I have known for years that weight loss is not only physical, but mental as well...but that didn't really sink in for me until New Years Day. I decided to update my before & current picture to my current loss at the time of 67 lbs. Clay had taken a great picture of me before we headed out to celebrate the night on New Years Eve...so I decided to use that picture. As I sat with my computer on my lap I was stunned to look at the difference in the 2 pics.

My 'before' picture was taken the morning of my surgery. Clay even says that if he hadn't been the one to take the picture, he wouldn't have believed it was me...I believe his exact words were, "I don't remember that you." I sat for about 10 minutes staring at this side by side...in complete disbelief. Many things ran through my mind. How did I ever forget how to love myself? How did I let myself get that big? How did I not realize I was that big? And the magic question that kept repeating itself in my head...How could someone find "that" attractive & fall in love with me? Clay must have known that my thought process was not productive, because he simply closed my laptop & took it off my lap.

I love compliments...they are a wonderful much needed encouragement & I appreciate every single one of them. But have you ever stopped & thought about the compliment you were giving before you gave it? Most people don't. I had this experience Sunday afternoon at church. The normal compliments are "You look great!" Wow, you are just wasting away!" "You look amazing!" The ones that really get me are the ones that refer to my beauty. Don't get me wrong, I have never considered myself to be a beautifully stunning person...I am far from gracing the cover of a magazine, but I did consider myself to be beautiful...every woman should...no matter their size! I do not believe that a person's beauty is directly related to their weight or lack there of.

Sunday as I was getting the normal compliments from my friends in the church choir, I had a woman tell me that I was "getting more & more beautiful" every time she saw me. The tone she used when giving this compliment stung as it slapped me in the chest. And her husband had WLS about 3 years ago as well. I know she meant well, but her compliment hurt. Now I have been know to be a little bit of a smart ass at time...yes I know it is hard to believe! I looked directly at her after receiving her compliment smile a huge smile and said, "Why thank you (insert name here), but I am pretty sure I was beautiful before I lost weight!" Now I know I shouldn't have said it...as soon as the words crossed my lips, I wish I could have sucked them right back in, but I couldn't. And you know what...it felt really good to stand up for myself & all of the other "Beautiful Big Babes" in the world. Oh well, maybe this person will learn not to associate beauty with being thin the next time she compliments someone on their weight loss!